I tackled a task this morning that I’d been putting off since before Thanksgiving, when my half-bath toilet seat off the living room decided to write a “Goodbye, Cruel World” suicide note and bid goodbye to the world. While I was sitting on the darn thing! I felt the left side shift a bit, and I thought maybe the seat just slid. Nope, it was cracked all the way through!

So our Black Friday weekend shopping adventures involved buying two new toilet seats, a couple of sets of blue string holiday lights and some booze from the Total Wine & More store in Ann Arbor, MI. That store is an absolute delight! I described it as a “Candy store for alcohol lovers.” I think the only booze they don’t have in stock is that moonshine your neighbor makes in his still that could put a hippopotamus into a coma. But then…maybe they do! I haven’t explored the store completely yet! I’ll ask if they carry Comatose Hippo Moonshine the next time I visit! 🙂

I first visited this store just before Thanksgiving, when I wanted to pick up some extra booze for the annual “Sister in Law Thanksgiving Booze Exchange.” It’s something I started last Thanksgiving when my sister in law Melanie and I each brought a variety of canned/bottled beers/ciders/other alcoholic beverages to share. This year I brought mead made in Williamsburg, VA by my friend Sam, two types of hard cider made by local cider maker Blake’s, Cheboygan Blood Orange beer from Cheboygan Brewing Company, and Blue Sky blueberry wheat from Griffin Claw Brewing Company in SE Michigan. My sister in law grew up in Cheboygan, which is why I made it part of my mix!

She brought beers from New Glarus Brewery in WI, beer from Black Rocks Brewery in Marquette, MI, beer from Keweenaw Brewing in Houghton, MI and something called “Long Drink,” which is Finnish in origin (Finns have a great history in Michigan’s U.P., which is where my brother and sister in law live). Bonus? It tastes almost exactly like Fresca!

But let’s get back to toilet seats, shall we (groan)? I know toilet seat replacement isn’t as fun as writing about booze, drinking it, or shopping for it. But sometimes we just have to adult, don’t we? This morning, I wasn’t feeling particularly shitty and maybe just slightly perky, so I grabbed some work gloves, disinfectant wipes and a screwdriver (not the kind made with vodka and orange juice) and got to work.

I pried the bolt covers loose then just started loosening the bolts (righty tighty, lefty loosy). When I managed to get the whole seat loose, I wiped down the seat with disinfectant wipes, dried it off with paper towels and put the shiny new seat and bolts back in place.

Here are some pics of the new toilet seat hotness:

If you’ve bothered to read this pointless blog this far, did you know that Madonna requires her hotel room toilet seats be changed out before every one of her gigs? With that in mind and my recent success in changing out one of our toilet seats (I still have one more to replace), I’m thinking of sending a resume to her handlers so that I can be her official toilet seat swapper outer! Have work gloves, disinfectant wipes and screwdrivers – will travel!