I “Wish” I Could Say I Liked WW84…

I finally got around to seeing WW84. We don’t have the streaming service that would’ve allowed us to see it when it was released (HBO Max, I think), and movie theaters weren’t yet open in my area when it came out. So – we watched it for free by renting the Blu-ray from our local library!

Lynda Carter (right) being in a cameo at the end was probably one of the better things about this dull, dull movie (she still looks SO good)!

I had already heard mixed reviews from friends who’d seen the movie, so honestly – I wasn’t expecting too much.

And from the beginning of the movie, it was very apparent to me that this wasn’t going to be as fun as the first Wonder Woman movie from 2017, which I really, really enjoyed. That scene where she rips off her human clothes (don’t get too excited – she has her Amazon outfit underneath it – wait – go ahead and get excited because it’s awesome) and runs into No Man’s Land during that WWI sequence – I couldn’t stop the tears. It was…beautiful! Scenes like this are WHY you “go to the movies!”

Sadly, WW84 had none of these kinds of scenes. Most of the scenes to me were just cringeworthy. Kristen Wiig’s character Barbara/Cheetah is clumsy/awkward and drops a briefcase full of papers on the floor and nobody helps her clean them up. Was this a scene cut from Revenge of the Nerds? So later she gets a wishing stone and she decides she wants to be cool and awesome like Diana Prince – and wear capri-length leggings – and shoegasm worthy heels (later a skin-tight animal outfit which makes her look like a reject from Cats). Pardon me while I groan and become really, really bored…(yawn)

Homer comes to wish he’d never been given a wish-granting monkey’s paw…

The whole premise of “be careful what you wish for” was just trite and overplayed. Those “Simpsons” fans among us will probably remember the “Monkey’s Paw” Treehouse of Horror (season 3) Halloween episode – which showed people making wishes that turned on the wish maker in unexpected or catastrophic ways. With the Simpsons episode, it was only a seven minute segment (give or take), but with WW84, you were in for watching this overplayed premise and ultimate hot mess for the rest of the movie. We get it, be careful what you wish for! I wish I hadn’t seen Pedro Pascal in that second Kingsman movie as “Agent Whiskey” before watching him in this movie. His moustache had powers all their own (LOL)!

I married a D&D gamer who taught me long ago to be cautious about genies and other all-powerful entities granting wishes – and to never, ever use the word AND while making a wish.

Another TV series that touched on the “careful what you wish for” premise was The X-Files. In an episode called Je Souhaite (season 7, episode 21 for those who want to look up on their streaming services), a female genie grants wishes to people that always seem to have horrific endings. A guy wishing to become invisible gets struck and killed by a car. When his brother wishes for him to be brought back to life, he gets a rotting zombie brother who screams when he wishes for the brother to talk. When Mulder wishes for world peace, everyone on the planet – except him – vanishes.

I won’t give any more spoilers if you haven’t watched this episode yet, but it ends with Mulder making just the right wish!

WW84 ends in a similar fashion – with all of the wish makers (including Wonder Woman herself) being persuaded to rescind their wishes.

OK, OK – there were a couple of things about the movie that I thought were cool besides the Lynda Carter cameo – that golden armor Wonder Woman wore in her battle with Barbara/Cheetah was pretty sweet – and the invisible plane where she and Steve (Chris Pine) watch fireworks would’ve been fantastic on a big movie screen. Otherwise, I’m pretty happy I didn’t waste any money on THIS movie!

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