Winter decided to actually rear its head this morning when I had to work, and since I can’t telecommute – and don’t have an important enough of a job to “have” to attend when shit hits the fan – I called off.

Nope, I didn’t bother driving to work today.

However – I did start working on writing my own silly song about the vice presidents of the United States! it’s a bunch of rhyming couplets to the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance – which is all about the second bananas – aka the Vice Presidents – of the United States!

Here’s a little taste (to the tune of “Mexican Hat Dance,” which you can find on YouTube along with tons of idiotic conspiracy theories):

Harrison’s bat boy was Levi Morton…

Same dude for Cleveland was named Stevenson…

McKinley’s bro was named Garret Hobart…

Served in that job until Death played his part…

Same thing would happen when Bill Buffaloed…

Roosevelt sworn in to shoulder the load…

Since Kamala Harris was elected as VP – and (sorry to say) – whether you love her or hate her – come on guys, she’s a WOMAN – so just the fact we have a WOMAN VP – means a lot. She had to work her ASS off to get to this point. Inspired by that, well – why can’t I take the time to at least attempt to learn the names of all of the old white guys who had that job before her?

One thing I’ve learned already is that quite a lot of vice presidents died before completing their terms. And because they’re second bananas and not that important – they weren’t replaced. What do Spinal Tap drummers and vice presidents of the United States in the 19th century and early 20th century have in common? You guessed it – death!

I’m not saying I’m going to have the names of every single old white guy who served as VP before Kamala Harris memorized by the time this is all said and done – but hey – at least I’m attempting to give some of my “creative” writing chops a workout!

The only VPs I could name before plunging into this knowledge rabbit hole were the ones who were VPs before they became president, the ones that have been VPs in my lifetime and a bit beyond (anyone serving as VP in the 1960s or later are likely to be ones I’ll know) and ones with the unique names.

Schuyler Colfax, Hannibal Hamlin, George Clinton, Aaron Burr… Yeah, THOSE guys. Also. the name “Levi Morton” is kind of cool. Who names their kids “Levi” anymore? Hipsters, pay attention! This could very well be the new “hip”name!