What’s not to love about “the holidays?” Those cheerful songs, red and green clothing, ugly Christmas sweaters and ugly Christmas designs on socks, edible underwear, dress shirts, ties, pajamas, leggings, wine cozies, wrapping paper…
And who doesn’t love candy canes? They’re so fun to unwrap, you’d think that after expending so much energy unwrapping it, that you’ll be rewarded with deliciousness (though you seldom will be).
The decorations can be pretty, or more often than not , tacky as f—. Maybe your kids’ wish list has a price tag higher than a 1980s Pentagon toilet seat. Come on – what else are credit cards for? Buy, buy buy! Spending money on people will make you feel like Santa. Everyone wants an air fryer! Fry stuff with less oil and more noise than a 1976 Who concert! Fry the cat, fry your inlaws, fry the kids! Uh, don’t do any of these things!
Sigh, I guess I’m too tired to deck the halls, go for a sleigh ride and dammit, I’m just too tired to go caroling and demand to be served figgy pudding. Does anyone go caroling anymore? Sounds like a good way to get shot (this country has a lot of guns).
I don’t mind holiday joy, but right now I feel like a Salvation Army bell ringer. Can someone fill my cup – I could use some holiday cheer! I missed the local tree lighting ceremony in my town, so I’ll have to see what else might be going on elsewhere. Sometimes a holiday event can be fun.
Now to rest up until it’s time to get ready for trivia!