I’m compiling a list of subjects – in no particular order – that I no longer want to see covered in television shows or in movies (unless certain criteria are met). Without further ado, here goes:

Bigfoot/Cryptozoology

Produce a skeleton or conclusive DNA evidence that Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman/Yetis, Chupacabras, Mothmen exist – or stop talking and speculating about them. You’d think that since we live in an age where people are virtually documenting EVERYTHING with their mobile phones, we’d have some real evidence of Bigfoot by now. They have TRAIL CAMERAS! Give us real evidence these beasties exist, or STFU!

The Winchester “Mystery” House

Stories about the Winchester Mansion have been done to death more times than the number of people killed by Winchester rifles during the U.S. Civil War. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but enough is enough about this house! And that last feature film about this house was just…awful.

Killer Clowns/Killer Dolls

There was a miniseries dedicated to Stephen King’s It. Now there are two feature films dedicated to this tired story. The Child’s Play franchise has been more than  “played out.” I think we all know better than to ever, ever allow an old doll  – or any other “lifelike” doll into our homes. And besides, the switch in the back solves 99 percent of all problems involving killer dolls (JK)! Or killer dolls who resemble clowns. Read about real-life “killer clown” and serial killer John Wayne Gacy if your cup hasn’t already runneth over with stories about killer clowns. He suffocated one of his young male victims by stuffing his mouth with bikini briefs. Reality is always more terrifying than anything a person’s imagination can summon.

UFOs/Alien Abductions

Until someone produces an actual alien body, alien DNA an actual alien ship or (for the love of…) photos of the inside of a spacecraft during an abduction – don’t bother with this topic. Though I do kind of think Area 51 is real, I don’t necessarily believe any of these yahoos who claim to have been abducted without providing conclusive proof. Though as Fox Mulder’s poster states in The X-Files –

I want to believe.

Ghost Hunting

Don’t bother doing shows about ghost hunting unless you can get voice recordings or images of actual ghosts. Just showing us things moving randomly by themselves is far too easy to fake. If you can’t show or present something to genuinely creep out viewers, don’t bother. It’s a dick tease otherwise.