What A Nice Fourth of July!

I’m finally back at home, smelling slightly of chlorine and hearing the booms of fireworks from behind my house. I LOVE this holiday! I know dog owners love to whine about their dogs freaking out from the loud noises, and to that I say…

GET A NEW DOG! Or put an extra “Thundershirt” on your pooch! Do they make doggie earplugs? You can’t stop MURKAH on the Fourth of July (though you sure can whine about it like a champ, apparently…)

You can’t stop the Fourth of July! God bless the Chinese for inventing fireworks… and God bless people for setting them off on this day! Oh yeah… I guess thanks Michigan (former) Governor Rick Snyder for making fireworks legal!

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Celebrate the independence of your country by attempting to blow up a small part of it! Why yes, it’s the Murkan way!

What did I do today? I watched a Fourth of July parade, I took a dip in a municipal pool, had some ice cream at (arguably) the best spot in Washtenaw County, MI to get ice cream (Washtenaw Dairy)…and topped it all off with drinks on a rooftop bar.

I’m sad that I had to witness a little girl at the pool bawl her eyes out to her mama when she failed the “deep end” swimming test. What would I say to the little girl if I were her mama?

You don’t want to go into the deep end, dear. It’s chock full of monsters.

Now you see why I didn’t become a parent!

Seriously, I didn’t like seeing that little pudgy girl get so upset about this… A more Joan Crawford-esque mother would tell her to not waste her time crying about it and spend more time practicing the front crawl (like every single waking second) so as not to be so pudgy – and pass the swim test next time. Parents aren’t allowed to do this stuff anymore, because it’s “fat shaming.” We’re supposed to embrace everyone for all of their flaws these days (groan)… Participation trophies, my ass…but I digress!

I’m no Joan Crawford (though I do hate wire hangers too)!

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Golden Raspberry Award winner Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest, in which she played Joan Crawford… I still jokingly call my mother Mommie Dearest sometimes, which cracks her up!

Yes, it was a good day today! I even put together a red, white and blue ensemble! Pictures or it didn’t happen? OK! I’m not in the most flattering lighting, but…

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God bless Murkah on the Fourth of July!

 

 

 

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