I BOUGHT A DRESS TODAY (IKR)!

It’s surely a sign of the Apocalypse. It’s a sign that my brain has surely been zapped by aliens. The “bizarro” version of me has taken over my existence. You can say to me, “Who are you – and what have you done with Heather?”  Yes, I BOUGHT A DRESS TODAY! Yes, really…

Last night, my husband and I were enjoying some beers in a local beer garden – and I saw a woman wearing a dress with a handkerchief hemline. And then I said aloud:

I’ve always liked dresses with handkerchief hemlines.

This, of course, gave my husband a chance to ogle a pretty hot blonde woman wearing a dress – with a handkerchief hemline! Too bad she was with some douche nozzle in a flashy pick-up truck (LOL)! And for a little “fashion lesson,” here’s what a handkerchief hemline looks like:

handkerchiefhemline.jpg

As if by serendipity, I was at work this morning in Retailville, and I opened a box containing some dresses, and I hung ’em on the rack. Then I noticed something strange…I gave the dress a second look! And… lo and behold – the dress had a HANDKERCHIEF HEMLINE! Also, I liked the colors – and liked the pattern. Hmmm…could it be buying a dress is in my future? Me – who has not worn a real “dress” since I was married? I’ve worn skirts since then, but dresses kind of…terrify me. I have kind of a “strange” body, if you will…I usually opt for separates, not one-piece outfits.

Then craziness set in. I bought the dress when I got done with my shift (got a shit ton of discounts too  – wound up costing about $25). I got to take it before it even saw the sales floor – and got tried on, mauled, pawed at by other customers (so a “virgin” dress, LOL). You can call that a “perk” of my job, if you like (don’t even ask me about the crappy things customers do to clothes when they’re trying them on). Here’s what the dress looks like:

2019-06-03 13.11.06

I’ll be wearing this to my husband’s cousin’s wedding in July. I wanted something that was colorful, patterned (but NOT floral patterned) and comfortable. This has a built-in slip, too! Bonus – my husband gave his thumbs-up (he can be SO picky)!

 

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