A Williamston, MI craft brewery called Old Nation recently sold tickets to its customers to buy its M43 Tart Strawberry IPA. Customers could buy no more than two four packs from the brewery at a time. One of the “pages” I follow on Facebook is the Michigan Craft Beer Enthusiasts, and I don’t get too involved with the page, really. I don’t make posts on there, and rarely make any comments. But when someone made a post referring to TICKETS being sold to customers to buy beer? I was incensed – and had to put in my two cents.
Tickets? So is this like a carnival ride, then?
One of my neighbors, Matt G., commented back:
Well, both things can potentially make you puke.
“The” craft beer du jour in Michigan craft brewing circles.
While I actually love “fruity” beers, I want absolutely nothing to do with this beer BECAUSE of the hype. Also, it sounds kind of disgusting. I’m kind of burned out on IPAs – for one – and I don’t care for “tart” beers. Shorts Soft Parade is my favorite “fruity” craft beer – its blend of blueberries, raspberries and strawberries combined with its generous 7.5 percent ABV certainly delivers bang for buck for this “advanced placement” drinker! And I’ve never had a hangover from drinking these (my theory is it’s because of the antioxidants from the berries). And because it’s also available in cans? You can bring it to the beach without getting busted by the booze police (hint the booze police on Michigan beaches are usually sleeping on the job).
Me enjoying a Soft Parade in Charlevoix, MI in August, 2018, Girly thing about me? I actually don’t like drinking straight from the can (I was pouring these into a cup).
But hey, it’s a free country. If people want to worship a beer, so be it! There are far more than enough intoxicants out there for me to shove at my booze hole without having to chase down the latest, greatest “fad” beer. I’ll bet if I used a Ouija board to summon the ghosts of my dead great-grandparents (whom were bootleggers) they could teach me to make my own hooch in that downstairs jet bathtub. I have friends who work in science labs and can probably hook me up with grain alcohol if I get desperate (though I think that would violate the restraining order that grain alcohol/Everclear has had against me since the Kentucky Incident of 2009). I do have to admit the M43 can design is pretty snappy (the strawberry pretty much makes the design).
But if some local brewer wants to make a nice, easy drinking English mild bitter ale? I’ll hop onto that craft beer board, plaster a dozen photos of the beer in various poses/outfits/lighting and proclaim…
DRINK THIS BEER – LIKE RIGHT NOW! IT SLICES, IT DICES, IT MAKES YOU SHOOT RAINBOWS FROM YOUR ASS AND WILL TURN YOU INTO A UNICORN AND MERMAID SIMULTANEOUSLY!
How about it, craft brewers? Where’s that easy-drinking English mild bitter ale (AND DON’T TELL ME TO GO TO ENGLAND)?