What Superpowers Would YOU Want To Have? I’ll Take Eric Draven’s Superpowers, Thank You!

Who hasn’t thought about what it would be like to have superpowers? Maybe you’ve thought about what it would be like to have super strength – Like Superman, Juggernaut and Beast from The X Men, The Thing, The Incredible Hulk, Buffy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and…Johnny Carson.

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Johnny Carson tosses around a Buick Skylark, which is proof that Johnny Carson was a superhero…

Maybe brawn’s not your thing. Maybe you’d rather have super healing powers and virtual invincibility – like Wolverine, whom also has an unbreakable Adamantium skeleton. Little known fact I’m totally making up – Wolverine turns into Adam Ant during every full moon as a side effect of the Adamantium. Which means he winds up passed out at some random retro club dressed like this man…

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Don’t drink…don’t smoke…what do you do, Adam Ant?

Maybe you’d prefer more “brainy” superpowers – like Professor X or Jean Grey aka Phoenix (both from the X Men), whom can read and control minds. Want to teleport? Get chummy with Doctor Manhattan and he’ll make it happen (though I hear it causes some queasiness). Want to be able to fly? That’s also one of Superman’s powers, and Iron Man can fly (with help of his adaptive suit).

Three superheroes you want to bring camping include Pyro (he will instantly start your camp fire), Ice Man (he will keep all of your drinks cold) and Storm will ensure weather is cooperative on your trip!

The point is, there are countless superpowers out there to choose from – if you had the power to choose your superpower (which sadly, we don’t).

So which superpowers do I like the best? I’ve always been a fan of  psionic powers (mind control or bust, I say)! I learned the word “psionic” from my nerdy husband, who used to play a lot of Dungeons & Dragons. He owns a handbook that further explains “mental” or “psionic” powers:

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It’s so hard to choose just ONE superpower though, isn’t it? Nobody wants to eat just one potato chip – and nobody wants just one superpower! Which brings me to…(drum roll) – Eric Draven, the undead human embodiment better known as “The Crow.” I’ve recently come to realize he possesses the best combination of superpowers out of all of the comic book characters out there.

SPOILERS AHEAD…do not continue reading if you haven’t seen this 25 year old movie already (recent plans to reboot the film with Jason Momoa as the star were shelved).

Created by James O’Barr and first published in 1989 by Caliber Press (later Kitchen Sink, Image Comics and IDW Publishing), The Crow chronicles the story of a man named Eric Draven whom is, along with his girlfriend, Shelly – brutally murdered (she is raped and murdered, though lives for a short time after the attacks). He comes back as a revenant, a specific type of undead – whom is bent upon revenge and in the case of The Crow, performing various “tasks” until the mission is complete. In short order, this means killing every last one of the motherfuckers who killed him – and Shelly – one by one. “Fun Boy” gets an overdose of heroin, “T-Bird” gets strapped into his Ford Thunderbird which gets blown up before careening into water (and so on and so forth). Don’t feel too sorry for any of these guys – none of them show any remorse for what they did…you’ll be happy to see them go!

In the 1994 film, Eric Draven was played by Brandon Lee – the son of martial artist/movie star Bruce Lee. He was accidentally killed during the shooting of the film, which was one of a few things helping to elevate this movie to “cult” status.

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“Tin Tin,” whom headed the gang responsible for Eric and Shelly’s death, was first to go – and wound up having all of his major organs stabbed in “alphabetical order,” as a cohort said…

Nice thing is, Eric Draven is imbued with special “superpowers” to help him in this task! He has invincibility (he can’t be killed or wounded), super reflexes (he can catch knives being thrown at him in mid-air) and general bad-assery and the ability to look completely metal while wearing harlequin makeup (hey not everyone has the cheekbones to pull off that look). What else?  Every good pirate needs a parrot on their shoulder, and Eric’s proverbial “parrot” is (you guessed it) – a crow. His crow provides him with another set of eyes, and as long as the crow lives (an important plot point) – Eric retains all of his “superpowers” – until his tasks are complete.

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Eric Draven and his crow, which is kind of like a “familiar” to him…

The baddest of the bad-asses that Eric has to contend with in the film is a pompous, twisted psychopath named “Top Dollar” (played by Michael Wincott). He’s in a romantic relationship with his half-sister, and they both stalk and kill various people and…eat their eyeballs – after they’ve had sex with them. Let’s be clear- The Crow is NOT a family film!

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Top Dollar (Michael Wincott) and Myca (Bai Ling), engaging in some wholesome “family” activities.

As you can imagine, Eric Draven has his hands full when he sets out to kill Top Dollar. First, he has to take out “Skank,” whom is the last of Tin Tin’s gang – and Top Dollar tells him, “Well, you can’t have him.” A whole lot of gunfire ensues, and Eric eventually gets his “quarry.” Though the crow itself does become threatened, which briefly puts Eric’s superpowers to rest for a short time.

Top Dollar is the last to go, which happens after a very dramatic sword fight on the roof of Top Dollar’s building where all of his evil crime syndicate stuff occurs.

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You just don’t see sword fights in too many modern movies anymore!

When Eric Draven finally dispatches Top Dollar? He saves his absolute best superpower for last. I know what you’re asking – he’s already invincible and has super swift reflexes -AND looks really good in the harlequin makeup, tight body suits and the trench coat. What other superpowers does this guy need? I’m glad you asked!

In addition to being imbued with all of the superpowers I just mentioned, Eric also has some psionic powers – he has the ability to see what happened in the last hours of Shelly’s life (through a mind-meld with a police officer played by Ernie Hudson). Eric carries this mental anguish, mainly involved with the 30 hours that his girlfriend Shelly remained alive before succumbing to her injuries. Think about super concentrated PTSD all in one tiny place. And Eric has the ability to give ALL of that pain to another person, whom in this case, is an unwitting Top Dollar (who does not react well):

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 I have something to give you. I don’t want it anymore. Thirty hours of pain all at once, all for you.

And that – IMHO – is the best superpower any person could have. The ability to transfer one’s mental pain to another person. Forced empathy. Make the person walk in your shoes – even if only for a few seconds.

It’s so hard to believe that love will prevail in this movie, but it does – at the heart of it all, it truly is a love story…Once Eric has completed all of his tasks, he can finally be at rest – and Shelly briefly re-emerges from the world of the dead to greet him and give him a last kiss goodbye..

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 “It’s hard to believe that love will prevail,” from It Won’t Rain All the Time (The Crow soundtrack).

 

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