Reflections Upon My Hate/Hate Relationship With…Alarms

Maybe I was a “bit” spoiled growing up. Up until I went away to college, I always had my mom to wake me up when I had to be up in the morning. Because I’ve never been a “perky” morning person, it was rare when she’d be able to get me up on the first try. Patience is a virtue? She is easily one of the most patient creatures on this planet. Which came in handy when dealing with her…not so “perky in the morning” daughter!


Her first “attempt” to get me up would always go something like this (usually in her trademark melodic, sing-songy voice):

Heather, sweetie – it’s time to get up.

Her second attempt would be a bit more…firm.

Are you alive? You need to get up now, sweetie.

If she had to resort to a THIRD try to get me up, it would be much more firm…

I’m not driving you to school if you miss the bus. Get up now, honey!

I may not have my mom waking me up in the morning anymore, but in a way…I’ve “trained” my alarms to kind of do the same thing! I have to set THREE different alarms to get my ass up in the morning for work. The first one I set for 4:30 a.m., the second one for 4:50 a.m. and the third one for 4:59 a.m. More often than not, I’m usually up before any of them go off. On a good morning, I’m starting to get dressed before alarm #3 has a chance to go off – or I turn it off. Once, last summer, I actually had some “words” for my alarm when it had the audacity to…do what I set it to do! I guess I’m quite…profane when I’m jarred out of sleep…(the words “slumbering bear” have been used to describe what it’s like to rouse me from my sleep). My poor alarm definitely didn’t deserve the words I had for it!

Eat a dick!

I was recently scrolling through all of the “tones” that are available on my tablet for alarm sounds (my phone is temporarily out of commission). I needed something that didn’t sound TOO pretty – or too much like a song (I have been known to sleep right through “musical” alarms – the music just insinuates itself into my dreams…or something). Beeps/tones usually work well. I think “gently nagging mother” would be a hilarious option (with a choice of different voices)!

But what I REALLY want is to record my mom doing her three different “alarm” voices to wake MY ass up! I’ll have to get her into the “recording studio!” She’ll probably laugh at me when I suggest it…

Here’s a pic of my mom and I from the mid ’70s (please note she pretty much wears her hair the exact same way now – except shorter – and she still has no grey hair):


Nothing compares 2U, Mom, when it comes to the absolute BEST sounds to wake up to!


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