Perhaps the famous “pool scene” in this movie would involve Linda (played by future Mrs. Kevin Kline aka Phoebe Cates) opening up her bikini top,..to reveal tentacles!

We will be using the name “Fast Times at Miskatonic High” when we play in a Sporcle Live ’80s movies themed trivia night Monday. Let your mind have some fun here…how would THIS movie play out? Let’s see…some teachers would have the “Innsmouth” look, Mr. Hand would become “Mr. Tentacles,” Jeff Spicoli would get touched by a tentacled thing while surfing, but since he’s such a stoner, nobody would believe his story. Nonetheless, he will start to undergo “the transformation,” which will make him late to class every day, among…other things. Mr. Vargas, the science teacher, would teach spells and incantations to “advanced placement” students and plan field trips to places much, much more creepy than the cadaver storage of a hospital. Though they will still use cadavers in their experiments. Hello – Reanimator, anyone?  Meanwhile, Stacy, after banging a stereo salesman in a baseball dugout, will continue going to third base with creatures who are not human…and possibly tentacled. Statutory rape is pretty tame by comparison!

Careful, Stacy…this ticket scalper dude may not be what he seems!

This will make Stacy’s  abortion sequence much, much more terrifying…and complicated as the beast growing within her puts up a hellish fight during the procedure and possibly escapes into Ridegemont Mall, while all the while Jackson Browne’s hit single “Somebody’s Baby” is blaring loudly. I don’t want to give away TOO many spoilers, but this will certainly put the scene from Alien with the alien coming out of the belly to utter shame!

No need to recast this role! Vincent Schiavelli as Mr. Vargas will fit into a Lovecraftian-inspired script quite nicely! Doesn’t matter that he died in 2005, archive footage will do! Hell, they brought Peter Cushing back to life in that recent Star Wars movie. Hollywood magic? Or necromancy? Decisions, decisions!

Thanks Kimberly for the name suggestion!