A Little Late…My “International Women’s Day” Post! Confessions of a “Bad Bitch”

Believe it or not, it was only very recently that I discovered the word “basic,” as it applies to status-quo upholding/ seeking, dime-a-dozen… generic women. Those Stepfordish clones who wait in line at Starbucks and order lattes, wear their tall boots with their jeggings/leggings/vests combos, get mani/pedis and binge-watch “Sex and the City.”

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Yeah…you get the idea! I would not fit in with a group of girls like this…

All of these years, I thought I was the one doing something wrong. I felt like a misfit – why don’t I like watching rom-coms? Why don’t I care about wearing makeup, inflicting my toes on a hapless pedicurist (which would be a violation of the Geneva Convention…ugh are there ENOUGH closed-toe sandals out there?), drink lattes, or buy those pyramid-scheme leggings? Lululemon? God I don’t even know what they are (hastily checks google, using search terms “pyramid scheme leggings”) ah yes, LuLaRoe.  Seriously, I really did use those search terms! And you KNOW I am not a basic bitch if I have to use Google to tell me what those “pyramid scheme leggings” are! I actually own two pairs of leggings, both of which were purchased to wear with Halloween costumes, though I have worn them with jean shorts and skirts a couple of times. I have also brought them camping (they are comfy and warm to wear to bed).

All of these years I thought there was something wrong with me. I just didn’t fit in with most women, and always had very few female friends.  What was I doing wrong? Why wasn’t I more “girly?” And why does watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” “Ru Paul’s Drag Race” and “Sex and the City” feel like something they would force me to watch at Guantanamo Bay?

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Alex from A Clockwork Orange being forced to watch violent scenes

Now I know why. Because I’m a “bad bitch.” A “bad bitch” is basically the polar opposite of a “basic bitch.”  And on this day…the day after International Women’s Day (better late than never, I say – it’s been a long week at work) – I am proud to be a “bad bitch!” My nails may not be painted, and my face isn’t painted, either. I don’t dye my hair, and at best, I have maybe three decent pairs of jeans in my rotation (without any holes caused by stumbling home from the bar and skinning my knee from a face-plant). As for my shoe collection? What’s the opposite of a shoegasm? What would happen to you if you saw MY shoe collection! Imelda Marcos is smirking at me just thinking of my pathetic shoe collection. And because I’m a “bad bitch” I don’t care what some exiled former first lady of the Philippines thinks, anyway! And I read recently that her epic shoe collection is getting kinda…moldy.

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This is the raw me. No makeup, no manicure, no pedicure, no latte, no designer leggings, no designer handbag, no designer shoes. I am posing for this photo ONLY because there is a freighter and a lovely Great Lake in the background! Rogers City, July, 2017. Seriously…how about those waves? Just the day before, Lake Huron wreaked so much havoc that it GROUNDED the freighters for the evening and we had to stay in a motel because our camp site flooded!

Finally, I can say I’m happy with who I am. I may not wear makeup, but I have pretty damn good skin – and what do I have to hide? I like my mysterious eyes for which nobody can figure out the color. I’m also pretty happy with my brain when it doesn’t betray me on trivia nights! I like that it helps me improvise solutions on the spur of the moment (I am kind of a natural “MacGyver”), and sometimes helps me come up with silly jokes and witty comebacks! Correct trivia answers? A bonus! I may not drink lattes, but I love a nice hot cup of fresh-ground whole-bean coffee (sometimes with a little milk or some ice cubes when I don’t have time to sip it). As for my social interactions, I take no prisoners, I love whom I love, hate whom I hate, and I am loyal AF to all of the people I hold most dear in my life. I put up with them, I appreciate them for both their strengths and weaknesses and I love them all! Most importantly –  if they’re important enough for me to keep around in my life, they will (hopefully) do the same for me!

I ain’t perfect. And I don’t expect anyone else to be perfect, either. And my nails won’t be perfect. My hair won’t be perfect. Though on most days, I may try to use a blow-dryer and style it with products and stuff! Wait…does that make me just a little “basic?”

 

 

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