Hello, Everyone! I Survived Yet Another “Black Friday” In Retailville…

I’ve worked more than 20 “Black Fridays” as part of my retail job. I hesitate to call it a “career,” but that’s another topic.

Other than having a spanking new hire dropped into my lap ON THE BUSIEST FUCKING DAY OF THE YEAR in my lap – it wasn’t so bad this year!

All of this left me as grumpy as Wednesday Addams (more about her in a bit).

Hey, hey…not all of my Black Friday memories are bad ones! Yes, there was the Great Shoe Stampede of 2015, which left me cowering in a stock room for about 20 minutes or so until figuring out what to do (which of course I did because I’m a fucking professional) – and the great Pillow Mauling of 2016 (or was it 2017) – where customers mauled me while bringing pillows out of a stock room. Those memories aren’t so great!

But introducing a younger female co-worker (young enough to be my daughter) to the song “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits was a fun memory! This was while we were both working an overnight shift in 2018. She actually queued up the song on her phone. Why that song, do you ask? Because our store was selling appliances at the time, and I told her that whenever appliances got moved around, I thought of the lyrics “We’ve got to move these…refrigerators – we’ve got to move these color TVs.”

Another fond memory was in 2019, which was NOT a great Black Friday shift overall! I had to work all day on Thanksgiving, then come back again 10 a.m. the next day. The highlight of that was having a male customer ask me where he could find a shopping cart. I knew they were all in use, so I jokingly said that he should strongarm another customer in order to acquire one. I also asked that he made sure that I had a front row seat if he did this so that I could be entertained.

A few minutes later, I saw him with an empty cart, and he had a huge smile on his face…I didn’t even ask – but it brought a smile to my face, too!

Another thing brightening my Black Friday shift this year was the new Netflix series “Wednesday.” I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT! My husband and I are already in our third bingeing of season one.

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