PARENTAL ADVISORY – This trivia game recap about “adults only” themes (ages 18 and older) will have profanity, sexual references and some references to disgusting bodily functions. If this type of thing disturbs you, don’t continue to read! And for the love of Cthulhu, don’t read this to your kids!

All of that said…I met up virtually for a game offered by Sporcle Live with an old high school friend Michelle aka “Suzie” (who lives nearly 2,000 miles away in Las Vegas) and we made a valiant attempt to answer questions about a variety of “blue” topics we don’t normally encounter in trivia games – like penis nicknames, islands named after sex toys, fantastical bestiality and more!

Without further ado…the questions:

1. Nicknames – Which U.S. president nicknamed his penis Jumbo and is reported to have shown it to a White House staffer while asking, “Have you ever seen anything as big as this?” Apparently quite a few teams incorrectly guessed Bill Clinton… (we got it correct).

2. Lyrics – What 1978 Billy Joel single features the singer, then aged 29, singing about his quest to take the virginity of a young, Catholic girl, but failing to do so?

3. Movies – The 1969 film Blue Movie, also known as Fuck, was the first movie to feature an explicit sex scene that received a wide theatrical release in the U.S.

What man, better known as an artist, wrote, produced, and directed the film?Michelle had the right instincts here…

4. TV Series – Audio clue of various clips of profanity sounding like it came out of British mouths (I don’t know a better way to sum it up). Clips were from two first seasons of what series? Miss. audio swear words

5. Video Games – A 2015 entry in what video game series features the characters Geralt and Yennifer having sex while seated on a unicorn? Raise your hand if this is one of your sexual fantasies (or if having sex WITH the unicorn is one of your fantasies)? I won’t judge you!

6. College – Katina Powell, a madam, alleged that she earned several thousands of dollars from the athletic department at which ACC university in exchange for dancing for and having sex with multiple basketball players and recruits? We incorrectly guessed UNLV.

7. Art – In 1999, Chris Ofili exhibited The Holy Virgin Mary at the Brooklyn Museum of Art, which depicted a Black Mary, with the exposed right breast of the subject composed of what material? Miss, though we did think of the right thing (well, Suzie Ayala did)!

8. Commercials – In 2016, what organization’s Super Bowl commercial was rejected for being inappropriate, likely due to the fact that it showed two couples having sex, with the one labeled vegan lasting much longer than the one labeled “Meat Eater”? Correct guess here…

9. Geography – Which Western hemisphere country is home to both a town named Dildo and a nearby island named Dildo Island, each of which are home to approximately 1,200 people? Kind of makes you wonder how they pronounce it… “Dildoo?”

10. Stories – Who is the narrator of the official audiobook of the 2014 “children’s book for adults,” Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach, which has since spawned sequels including You Have to Fucking Eat (2014) and the as-yet unpublished Stay the Fuck at Home? Yes, it’s exactly whom you’d hoped this answer would be!

Mystery – Identify the artists recording songs with the following lyrics, which are usually edited for radio broadcast:

M1. “Hi kids, do you like violence? Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails through each one of my eyelids?” (1999)

M2. “This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles; dick bigger than a tower, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Eiffel’s” (2014)

M3. “So go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy. That’s fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay.” (2008)

M4. “Please excuse me I don’t mean to be rude. But tonight I’m fuckin’ you.”

We only got one of these correct.

Scores heading into the final (we used the name Cecily Bumtrinket, a name we learned the meaning of while watching the Netflix series about swear words hosted by Nicolas Cage) To save you the trouble of trying to Google the answer, it’s an old timey euphemism for a certain body part exclusive to ladies): 1. Six Inch Brains, 62; Balls Deep, 61; Adultish, 57; Super Happy Friend Time Relentless Positive Energy Spirit of Cooperation Go USA #1 Team!, 56; EKFL, 55; Zero to Hero, 54; DILF Lundgren (my favorite team name besides ours), 52; Multiple Scorecasms, 51; Propane and Propane Accessory, 50; Arthur Digby Sellers, 50; Topical Thunder, 48; Come Honor Face, 46; Cecily Bumtrinket, 46; Moda Wa-Wa, 45 and Wise Kraken, 36.

Final Category – Swear Words

According to a study by Buzz Bingo, the 1997 film Nil by Mouth has the most swears per spoken word, with 41.3 in every 1,000.

What 2019 film produced by A24 has the second-highest frequency, with 35.1 swears per 1,000 words?

The film earned its lead actor the National Board of Review Award for Best Actor and Independent Spirit Award for Best Male Lead, as well as a Golden Raspberry nomination for The Razzie Redeemer Award.

Nope, we didn’t think of the right movie…

As always, Go Pods, and stay classy, Lyndon Johnson!