What’s  not to love  about “the holidays?” Those cheerful songs, red and green clothing, ugly Christmas  sweaters and ugly Christmas designs on socks, edible  underwear, dress shirts, ties, pajamas, leggings, wine cozies, wrapping  paper…

And who doesn’t  love candy canes? They’re  so fun to unwrap, you’d  think that after expending  so much energy unwrapping  it, that you’ll  be  rewarded with deliciousness  (though you seldom will be).

The decorations  can be pretty, or more often than  not , tacky as f—. Maybe your kids’ wish list has a price tag  higher  than a 1980s Pentagon toilet seat. Come on – what else are credit  cards for? Buy, buy buy! Spending money on people will make you feel like Santa. Everyone wants  an air fryer! Fry stuff with less  oil and more noise than a 1976 Who concert! Fry the cat, fry your inlaws, fry the kids! Uh, don’t  do any  of these things!

Sigh, I guess I’m  too tired  to deck the halls, go for a sleigh ride and dammit,  I’m  just too tired to go caroling and demand to be  served  figgy pudding. Does anyone  go caroling  anymore? Sounds like a good way  to get shot (this country  has a lot of guns).

I don’t  mind  holiday joy, but right  now I feel like a Salvation Army bell ringer. Can someone  fill  my cup – I could use some holiday cheer! I missed the local tree lighting  ceremony  in my town, so I’ll  have  to  see what else might be going on elsewhere. Sometimes  a holiday event can be  fun.

Now to rest up until it’s  time to get  ready  for trivia!