Am I Looking A Set of Gift Balls In The Mouth?

The “random gift drawings” this time of year at work have become something I dread. For one, I NEVER win any of the “good” gifts randomly drawn based on everyone who worked Black Thursday/Black Friday. Those gifts – which can include Bluetooth speakers, gift cards, headphones, blankets, TVs (yes, some lucky duck actually won a TV last year) other “reasonably valuable” pieces of  swag – always elude me. Then, as if to give “consolation prizes,” they offer a second wave of random gifts under the guise of “Twelve Days of Christmas.” Last year, I won a set of gloves and socks. I could easily see that the socks weren’t going to fit my…bonus-sized feet, so I asked if I could exchange the gift for something else.

“No,” said one of my bosses. Uh…OK? So I wound up giving the socks to one of my co-workers and keeping the gloves. The gloves were nice and stretchy and fit OK – so free gloves, right? Who doesn’t need a pair of gloves? Plus, they’re white, so I can do my best imitation of Minnie Mouse while I wear them…right? They also have those thingies on the finger tips that allow me to use smart phones/devices. Hey…I TRY to be a “glass is half full” kind of person!

So what did I get in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” drawing this year? A set of Nerf balls. Behold my new set of balls…(I feel SO ballsy)


Let’s see, I’m in my mid-40s, don’t have any children, and there are no children of this age group in my immediate family…Uh…

I thought about giving them to my friend Brad, who has dogs. But then I realized they would just immediately demolish them. His four Scottish deerhounds would not only destroy these poor, defenseless Nerf balls, but probably try to INGEST them, too! There would be pieces of foam in the dog poop. One of his dogs has Pica Syndrome, which means they like eating things that aren’t…food. There are even people who have been diagnosed with Pica Syndrome. People who eat carpet, coins, etc.

I plan on just giving them to my mom to sell at a thrift shop in which she volunteers (all proceeds go to charity), but if she has some kind of toy donation bin at church she could put the balls there. I messaged one of my friends to ask if he wants to give them to his boy, who’s a little more than 1. This toy might be a little too “old” for him, but at least they’re too big for him to put in his mouth! And it would be a toy that he and his older sister could play with together.

This all takes me back to my third grade gift exchange where another girl named Kristine drew my name in the class gift exchange. And she gave me an oversized tube of…lip gloss. I was HORRIFIED! I was a tomboy! I didn’t want that girly crap! A set of colored pencils would have been nice, pens, paper, stationery, even flavored lip balm! I guess I must’ve had some kind of…meltdown about it or something, because the teacher got really pissed at me and made me apologize to the girl who gave me the giant “Lip Smacker,” or whatever it was…

I try to put at least a little thought into whatever gifts I buy for other people. That, of course, is no guarantee they’re not going to become something they automatically think about off-loading – or re-gifting. My husband and I usually just give our teen-age niece an Amazon gift card so she can pick out whatever she wants.

Ah, gift cards! What better way for uninspired  shoppers to  force  others  to spend your  hard-earned  money  in  a very specific way? 🙂

I actually  like getting  gift cards! Even  if they are not trivia prizes…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.