First off, I don’t follow football at all. I learned the names of pro sports teams just to be a backup in our trivia games. I wouldn’t know the difference between a sack and a first down. Football is played in periods, isn’t it? No? Innings? Occasionally my husband likes to check in with our “local” pro team, which is the Detroit Lions. They have been notoriously…meh for as long as I can remember. Today, for a brief time, I saw a different team than I’ve seen in the past. They were playing like they (gasp) knew what they were doing – and they were playing like they wanted to win! And they did (woot)! I’ll be a fair weather friend as far as sportsball goes. Go Lions!

The new coach Matt Patricia seems to be doing great! Again, I really don’t know anything about football. It’s still too early to call, of course, but he seems to be what the Lions need. And as the most armchair football person you can imagine, the Lions seem to be playing more confidently than I’ve ever seen them. And I have seen them basically lie down and get raped by team after team. Who doesn’t want the Lions to have a shot at the championship? I mean besides Upper Peninsula folks in Michigan and rival teams, of course! The U.P. folks are pretty solidly in team Packers (I’ll get to that treachery later). Those bastards!

Mike wanted to click the game off after they won, but I insisted he keep the game on – “I want to see the looks on the Packers’ faces, honey.” Darn Aaron Rodgers wore a baseball cap so I couldn’t see his face very well. But what I could see was very, very…sad (you poor thing).  My older brother is a Packers fan. Apparently, if you move to the U.P., you take your football loyalties out of state (ahem). He likes to hold court every Thanksgiving about how  much better the Packers are than the Lions (this is the day these two teams almost always play against each other). It irritates the hell out of my husband (and Dad).  Hell, I’m almost happy I have to work every Thanksgiving now so I don’t have to be there to hear it! As for today’s game, I watched some faces on other players, and they looked kind of like this one:

I saw a bit of the game where the Lions beat the Patriots. What are they – three time Super Bowl winners, or something? I am ENJOYING seeing these teams get mauled by the Lions! Maybe I’ll become a football fan yet! Now to learn how the game actually works…and look up the definition for “schadenfreude.”

But the absolute best part of all? Patricia is almost a dead ringer for “Andy” from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. This is my favorite movie of ALL TIME. In this movie, Andy is an ex-boyfriend of a girl Pee Wee was making woo with – and Andy had a very fiery temper!

Jon Harris as “Andy” in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

Lions’ head coach Matt Patricia, former Patriots’ defensive coordinator

What I am about to say is extremely politically incorrect (you might want to stop reading here)…but in light of the Lions’ victory today? I said aloud (in my own living room) – “They need to keep this guy happy. He’d better be getting a BJ after every game. Whatever they’re paying him? Double it!”