Editor’s note: This is a very special game recap from a game played on July 8, 2016 at Original Gravity in Milan, MI! What’s so special about it? The game was SO awful, that I decided that for every single question I missed, I would write an alternate question in the same (or similar) category that I would have gotten correct! The alternate questions will be noted. Sorry – no answers for this game recap….just have fun! I’ve kept all of the original game commentary.

Game One
1. Fruit – What name is usually given to less sweet bananas that are cultivated for cooking? 10

2. City Nicknames – What city’s nickname is “The 405” for its area code, and has a sports mascot nicknamed “Rumble the Bison?” Nope, miss for 4. I don’t remember what I put down, but I probably guessed Buffalo…

2 ALTERNATE QUESTION: City Nicknames – What “Simpsons” city is nicknamed “The Windy Apple?” 9

3. Planets – Which two planets are categorized as “ice giants?” I wrote down every planet, and was torn between one pair and another. Picked the wrong pair, miss for 2.

3. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Planets – In astrology (aka quackery), what are the two ruling planets for the star sign Aquarius? 8

4. Video Games – In June of 2016, it was announced that what 1984 video game would be turned into a movie trilogy? Really? Really? How can they make this into even one movie? I give up (walks out of bar and heads home). No, I didn’t leave, I stuck around because I am obviously a glutton for punishment! Miss for 1. Read on, you sadistic fools and smirk smugly about my impending bitter defeat!

4. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Video Games – In what ’80s video game would your archenemies be eggs and pickles, among other food items? 7

5. Sports Terms – (please note, second sportsball question of the night) – What term is given for a baseball thrown by a pitcher with the intention of hitting another player? Yup, just throw that baseball my way, lol! Miss for 3.

5. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Sports Terms – What is the four-letter name for a long, forceful throw downfield in Ultimate Frisbee, typically used to start game play? 6

6. Charles Dickens (now this is more like it!) – Multiple Choice – What profession did Joe attempt to teach Pip in “Great Expectations?” Blacksmith, tailor, gardener or mason? And in my only shining moment of the night, I was the only one in the bar getting this correct, apparently…though “pickpocketing” was the profession that came to my mind. My Dickensian memory ain’t so great anymore…5 points.

7. Slogans – “Leave the driving to us” became what company’s slogan in 1956? Free points for all! 9.
8. Game Show Hosts – Who was the host of the short-lived Fox game show Greed? Miss for 6.

 8. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Game Shows – What was the name of the game show in the Weird Al film UHF which parodied “Wheel of Fortune? 3

9. War History – The 100 Years War was fought between what two countries? And for an extra “nerd” point, in what century did this happen? Got this for 8, missed the bonus.

10. Clothing – From what natural fiber is denim made? 7
Mystery: This or That – each correct response will have the words “this” or “that”
1. 1987 Madonna film
2. Disney series spun off from “Corey in the House”

2. ALTERNATE QUESTION: 1982 Roxy Music song
3. ’44 patriotic song by Woody Guthrie
4. Three-word phrase uttered by Leonidas when he kicks the Persian messenger into the pit
Missed #2.
Standings: Eighteen teams, scores ranging from 14 to 54 with the Josh Pit in first. I was in eighth with 50 points. Yay, not in last!
Final Category: Holidays and Observances
Other than Christmas and Independence Day, which other two of the ten annual Federal holidays always occur on the same fixed date each year?

ALTERNATE QUESTION: In what month of the year do Canadians celebrate their “Thanksgiving” holiday?
Nope, missed this, those brain slugs were really starting to dig into the grey matter by this point. Soon enough they will realize there’s not enough grey matter to satisfy them and they will move on to another hapless victim. I’d like to say game two gets better, but [SPOILER ALERT] – it doesn’t. It doesn’t.
Game Two

1. Bottled Water – What bottled water company produced by Nestle uses the slogan “Pure as the Driven Snow?” And this is when my mother-in-law helped out from afar – she lives on the Muskegon River and mentioned that this company wanted to draw water from this river, which she and some other locals didn’t want that to happen. Thanks “other mom!”

2. SCIENCE! Berkshire, Poland China and Cheshire White are all varieties of what animal? FB clue. But don’t a couple of these sound like they would be varieties of heroin or is that just me?

3. Super Bowl (third sportsball question of the night) – The largest margin of victory in Super Bowl history was in Super Bowl 24 where the 49ers defeated what team? Nope, miss for 1.

3. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Super Bowl – Within one, in what year did Janet Jackson’s infamous “wardrobe malfunction” occur? Got this dead-on for 8.

4. ’60s Movies – Audio clue of movie with guy who talked to animals.

5. South America – Tierra del Fuego separates what strait from mainland Argentina and is also named for an explorer? I’m famously bad at screwing up questions involving explorers. And this question was no exception. Needed Mike for help with this one! Miss for 2.

5. ALTERNATE QUESTION: South America – What is the nearest capital city to the “Jonestown” mass suicides in 1978? 6

6. SNL – What skit involved two businessmen fighting for advertising space? Miss for 3.

6. ALTERNATE QUESTION: SNL – What was the name of the parody cereal on SNL that featured rocks and gravel, among other things? 5

7. Creatures – What legendary creature is the mascot for Scotland (not the Loch Ness Monster)? Sigh, these people are such hopeless drunks…really? THIS legendary creature? Take a page from China’s playbook, you guys! MISS FOR 6. Note: This is not the same creature that appears on their flag. When I take over Scotland “Nessie” will become Scotland’s mascot! At this point I mentally gave up on the game…(brain literally walked out the door).

7. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Creatures – What is the name of the H.P. Lovecraft creature that is also called the “crawling chaos?” 4.

8. Presidents – Who was the oldest person ever inaugurated as president, at age 69? I did say I gave up the game, didn’t I? Miss for 8. I hate you, Tippecanoe! That’s what you get for delivering too long of an inauguration speech in the cold! Death by hubris! (ahem).

8. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Presidents – Which U.S. president was sworn into office by his father? 3.

9. Composers – What nationality was Frederic Chopin? Multiple choices given for German, Polish, French, Austrian, got this for 7.

10. Comic Strips – In the colorized version of “Mother Goose and Grimm,” what color is the dog Grimm? For extra nerd point, what is the name of the cat in the comic? Nope, and nope, miss for 5.

10. ALTERNATE QUESTION: Comic Strips – What is the name of Linus and Lucy’s younger brother in “Peanuts” cartoons? 1

Standings: Eighteen teams, scores ranging from below 17 (didn’t write it down), to 58, with the Josh Pit again in first. I think I was in 13th place with 31 points. But since I’d given up on the game, I didn’t take really good notes!
Final Category: Food Production
What country produces the most cheese annually, more than the next three countries combined?

ALTERNATE QUESTION: What country ranks highest in the world in total beer consumed per capita?

Nope…Until next time, which will (probably) be Sunday, if Brad feels like coming out.

And because he has $50 of unused beer money, he will probably want to use some of it! Cheers! You would have helped in that question about the errant baseball and probably the Super Bowl one, too, Brad! As always, Go Pods, and stay classy, everyone!