Were you mesmerized by the breakfast machine in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? Then read on to learn about another fascinating machine designed for our gross plague-ridden times!

A Fenton, MI restaurant has bought a HUMAN SANITIZING MACHINE! WANT! Read on to learn more… here

If you don’t want to bother following the link I provided – a person steps into a booth – which senses whether or not the person is wearing a mask/face covering – checks the filthy human’s temperature – and once the temperature check has been passed, hand sanitizer is squirted out for the person to use – and they are SPRAYED DOWN WITH LYSOL! Finally, my germphobia is being realized!

Now you all know what I want for Christmas!!!