Here is a list of some random things I’d like for my birthday! Keep in mind I do not expect to get any – or all of these things! Except maybe that vacuum cleaner!  But a gal’s gotta dream, doesn’t she?

Also, some of these things might have appeared on my list of things I wanted for Christmas.

• A powerful hand-held vacuum cleaner that will work great for quick cleanups and also on my staircases. Good LORD do I regret having chosen navy blue carpet for the upstairs staircase (shows every speck of dirt and dust).
• The complete series of “Sledgehammer” on DVD (or Blu Ray)
• To stop seeing Flo in Progressive commercials. She’s older than the Geico gecko. Put her to rest already.
• Elon Musk to become Batman. I’m not going to rest with this wish. He’s rich enough, he’s smart enough…JUST BECOME BATMAN ALREADY!
• A shower karaoke machine. Because sometimes I forget the lyrics.
• A nice bottle of aquavit.
• To meet Steve Martin in person.
• My own private lair. F— “She Sheds.” I want a LAIR!
• An outdoor camping light that resembles a Tiffany lamp.
• A new tent. One that I can stand up in. I’m getting way too old to be scrambling my ass to get my ass up – only to have to do that all over again once I crawl out of the tent.
• A good custom-made article of clothing. Such as a denim jacket, for example.

Well? What are you waiting for? Go shopping like RIGHT NOW!