Folger’s coffee claims that “The best part of waking up is Folger’s In Your Cup.”
I disagree. First off, freshly ground coffee beans are the shit! Even if Eight ‘O Clock coffee the best your grocery emporium carries (it’s a Consumer Reports best buy).
Secondly, there is no good part of waking up unless someone is servicing you sexually – or at the very least you’re not being shoved out the door for work.
That is all! Now go read about Abigail Folger!