Every now and then when I have a little time to kill, I’ll get sucked into those silly clickbait Internet slide shows. This morning, the slide show was photos of various celebrities – mostly female (Marilyn Manson was in there) – not wearing makeup – next to photos of them wearing makeup (for comparison purposes).

I thought to myself what I always think when I look at these things:

Pffft…so they think it’s a big deal to share a photo of themselves without makeup. Almost every online photo of me is with no makeup.

Then it occurred to me that I’m as uncomfortable sharing photos of myself wearing makeup as these female celebs are sharing photos of themselves WITHOUT makeup! You see, I’ve never been super good at being a “real girl.” Sure, I know I’m female, I don’t feel like I should have been a guy, and am not saving money for gender reassignment surgery or anything. I’m just not that “girly,” though I’d hardly describe myself as a full-on “tomboy,” either.  I’ve never had a mani/pedi, I’ve never dyed my hair, I only wear  skirts maybe a few times a year (dresses even more seldom than that) and unless it’s a really special occasion, I don’t tend to EVER wear makeup. I do “attempt” to style my hair when I’m going out, I’ll apply moisturizer and under eye creams (my lame attempts to turn back the clock since I’m not Cher and can’t afford to have a plastic surgeon on my full time staff).

The very first time I wore makeup in my life was when I wore clown makeup on Halloween when I was 4. That’s when I learned that I had a makeup allergy – I almost immediately became “sneezy/wheezy” when I went out trick-or-treating. I also had to wear makeup when I was in a ballet recital at age 6. Now…while I may be willing to share photos of me with – and without – makeup – nothing is going to compel me to EVER share any ballet photos of me online (the line is drawn here)!

I have a few photos of me wearing makeup “hidden” on my Facebook page, in a folder that I have a feeling not too many people would bother looking for it. As for why I’d be ashamed of sharing photos of me wearing makeup, I really can’t say. But it’s somehow… offensive to me. Is it because I feel like I’m putting on false face for the world? Like I said, I really don’t know!

Pics of me in makeup – (at my “girliest):

2013

This was my “Silhouette” Halloween costume from 2013. Uh, she’s a lesbian character you barely see in the movie Watchmen, and this was not the only Halloween costume I’ve donned involving lesbian characters (what would a shrink say about THAT).  In addition to the makeup, I am also wearing a wig – and more than one undergarment designed to create the illusion that I… never drink any beer. The result was not being able to sit all night while wearing this get-up (except when I had to use the bathroom). I am wearing eye makeup and lipstick, but no “foundation” makeup or blush. BTW, wigs are NOT comfortable to wear…at all!

 

2003

I’m on the right, dressed as a “Robert Palmer video sidekick” and was wearing my “wedding corset” with this outfit in addition to some kind of “smoothing” slip thing (Spanx for the torso)? Once we were done with the Halloween party, several components of that outfit were immediately ditched!

2009

I actually liked wearing this makeup! My husband drew the designs on my face with green eyeshadow. Here we are as Poison Ivy and The Joker.  Truth be told, Poison Ivy is not actually into dudes! But I felt more comfortable with this costume than with a Harley Quinn bodysuit (LOL)…

 

1997

If a gal isn’t going to wear makeup on her wedding day, when else is she going to wear it (besides Halloween)? I splurged and bought Clinique makeup for this occasion from Hudson’s (now called Macy’s), and got one of those “gift bags” with my purchase. Any makeup I wear has to be “hypo allgergenic.” My husband calls this my “Marilyn Monroe” photo (LOL)!

Now For Some “Ungirly” No Makeup Pics…

 

2016

This is about as “unglamorous” as you’ll ever see me (I was on a camping trip at Cheboygan State Park). Bandannas are a gal’s best friend if her hair’s too short to pull into a ponytail…

 

1993

Princess of grunge, 1993 (or 1994), Fisherman’s Island State Park.

 

2016

Leelanau State Park – Lake Michigan is in the background. I’m wearing a rain hat, but sometimes I wear it as a sun hat.

 

2000

Me in a rowboat at Tahquamenon Falls State Park.

 

2016

Winter cabin trip, Tawas Point State Park. Yes I really did need all of those layers…

 

2018

Cheboygan State Park.

2019

Me utterly stumped at an April, 2019 trivia tournament….