Way back in 2014, I started using the closing line “Stay Classy” with my trivia recaps, which is kind of a ripoff of the movie Anchorman. And for most of those games in the beginning, I was telling the city of Ypsilanti, MI to “Stay Classy.” It’s kind of a tongue-in-cheek thing, since Ypsilanti, though I live here, DOES have some rather “unclassy” elements, if you will. Jesus, I can barely even walk through the Eastern Michigan campus without cringing at the FASHIONS! Leggings, jogger pants, fake eyeglasses, mermaid hair, unicorn hair,  so much unwashed, uncombed hair and did I mention leggings? Yes? OK, jeggings, then (bleah)!

My favorite thing about walking around near campus is seeing a big jowly dog sitting on a front porch of one of the homes. I named him Roddy MacJowls. I SWEAR that dog is a human stuck in the body of a dog. And that human is burly, low-voiced blues musician who also serves as a bouncer of a rough redneck bar, but I digress! The point is, the place where I live, though it has its “unclassy” elements, is still my ‘hood, and I love it! I love how people went nuts over a f—ing turkey hanging around a rural intersection (until it got hit by a car…go figure). This turkey was worshiped like a deity and even had his/her own Facebook page (I don’t think anyone ever figured out the turkey’s gender).  I love how I recently saw a wedding party split up – with bride going into Save-A-Lot – and the rest of the wedding party (in their dresses) go into the dollar store. I love you, Ypsilanti! You don’t really have to stay classy! You’re much more interesting if you are not! I’ve called Ypsilanti home for about 20 years now (though not all consecutive). While some neighboring Big 10 college cities I might mention (ahem)  have residents who enjoy sniffing their own farts, here in Ypsilanti people LIGHT their own farts! If you want a pretty unpretentious town with a decent bar scene and lots and lots of “watchable” folks, look no further! Also want a town that has a water tower that looks like a…(well look at the picture below):

I live in a city with (supposedly) the most phallic water tower in the world…I’m proud to call this “my city!”

So whom else – besides the city of Ypsilanti – have I urged to “stay classy” in my trivia recaps? I actually skimmed through them to find out! Let’s take a look…Ypsilanti isn’t the only city I’ve told to “stay classy.” Other cities include Arkham, MA; Belleville and Milan. But a majority of the “stay classy” subjects are people (specific or non specific), who are listed below. In most cases, the people tie into game questions, but…not necessarily!

People I’ve Told To “Stay Classy” In My Trivia Recaps

• Burt Reynolds
• Creepy bearded actor from The Hangover
• You ’80s couple making out to that Smooth Operator song (by Sade)
• Thomas Edison
• Carrie Fisher
• Frog Brothers (The Lost Boys)
• Peter Fonda
• You OSU fans
• Kitty Kelley
• Viet Cong soldiers in The Deer Hunter
• Hippolyta
• Barry Lyndon
• You malfunctioning robots in Westworld
• Adam Ant
• All you Looney Tunes characters who would be considered politically incorrect now
• Ricky Martin
• St. Patrick’s Day revelers
• Inmates and guards at the Federal Correctional Institute in Milan
• Alice the cat

Alice the cat is seen on the clothes dryer in this 1974 photo…she was named for Alice on “The Brady Bunch”

• Scarjo
• Snap, Crackle and Pop
• All of you costumed mascots and furries
• Whore Island visitors
• Anyone trying to squeeze the (blank)
• All of you people who wear “Flame” cologne in hopes of seducing women
• Mom and Dad
• Matt Dillon
• Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters when you’re trying to hit on that girl using zener cards
• William McKinley
• You people in that painting with the naked woman
• You Palestinian terrorists
• J.Lo and Ben even if you are appearing in a Golden Raspberry award winning film
• You Belarussian beaver with rabies (this one is my FAVORITE)
• The most interesting man in the world
• Otto Von Bismarck
• Stephen Stills
• Ronald Reagan
• You costumed sausage mascots
• Interplanet Janet
• Suliman the Magnificent
• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
• Chicago White Sox
• Larry the Cable Guy
• Paul Verhoeven (film director of Showgirls)
• Amy Fisher, Lorena Bobbitt and Tonya Harding
• Augusto Pinochet
• Angelique from Dark Shadows
• Ferdinand Magellan
• Lenny and George
• The Scarlet Pumpernickel
• Salieri (Mozart’s rival in Amadeus)
• David Koresh
• General George Patton
• Hunting widows

That’s it for now! This list is NOT all-inclusive! Whom will I tell to “stay classy” next? Will it be YOU? 🙂