A few years ago, our boss at work decreed that we could wear athletic shoes to work as a special thing or something. Not much of a “treat” for me, since I’m a “back of house” employee who gets to wear whatever shoes I want (as long as they are not the open toe variety since I work with incoming freight and heavy stuff).

So I had to get a little snarky when they said that the shoes shouldn’t be the “ones you wear to mow the lawn.” Which prompted me to make this meme, rather than utter my thoughts aloud at an employee meeting and get (ugh) disciplined, or, at the very least, “tsk-tsked” to death. Sometimes I bite my tongue so much that it bleeds!

Shoes are actually kind of a triggering subject for me. I wear a size 12 in women’s, which is notoriously difficult to find “off the rack.” This means most shoes I get are either men’s (size 10.5, which are not that difficult to find) or I resort to…ordering online. Back in the olden days of rotary dial phones and 24 hour videos on MTV, I ordered from “catalogs.” I remember having to explain what a catalog was to a young trainee at work. I did my best…

Uh…it’s like the Internet only on paper? You would look up what you wanted to buy in a magazine or booklet and order over the phone or by mail

Weren’t catalogs such fun? Especially if it was holiday time and they had toys you could circle and put on your wish list, or when you got older and they had maybe…lingerie and stuff? I mean, if women’s lingerie is your thing? 😉

I digress. But if you need a second or two to fondly reminisce about old Victoria’s Secret catalogs on high gloss paper, I’ll wait patiently!

Ordering shoes online can be risky. One risk is (duh) that they won’t fit. They might also not be as they were described, turn out to be shoddy and difficult to return, what have you. I remember having to return two pairs of shoes I’d ordered online in a row because they were not traditional lace-up shoes, which were what I wanted. They make slip-on shoes with decorative laces now. I want to be able to adjust the fit according to the thickness of my socks, which you can’t do with slip-on shoes.

Yes, I know slip on – and the Skechers subbrand “Slip Ins” are all the rage. And yes, I know slip on shoes have their place. I practically live in my Merrell “Jungle Moc” slides, especially in cooler weather, or when I’m camping. There’s nothing more comfy than these on my days off from work, or after a long day on my feet. My only regret is that the women’s sizes stop short of my size, so my only color choices were boring men’s colors!

However, these shoes are a bit toasty for summer weather. I recently purchased some slip-ons that area bit more “summery,” yet still meet my needs for comfort and practicality. It’s just not that practical to have difficulty getting through doorways in your high heels (I am sort of a tall woman, which by “sort of” actually means WNBA recruitable), nor is it practical to wear any shoes that are anything but comfortable and stable on my old beleaguered feet. Which brings me to my most recent shoe purchase:

Easy Spirit “Glitz.” The site I ordered them from only offered neutral shades, turns out that I can get them in more “fun” colors – in my size – from other sites. Maybe I’ll do that (if the price is right). Lavender is tempting, even if black does kind of go with everything!

Which brings me to address my blog headline. Yesterday a dear male friend of mine, whom is as diminutive as I am freaky tall, messaged me telling me that he had bought his “Art Fair sneakers.” He buys a pair of what he calls “sneakers” every year during the Ann Arbor Art Fair at one of the many sidewalk sales. And because his feet are small, he gets women’s sizes. Usually he opts for neutral colors, but honestly, he doesn’t give too many f—s anymore! He said that his new shoes are “mint green.”

Now read the headline for this blog again! I’m so insanely jealous that you can buy discount shoes off the rack! In girly colors!

I really miss the good old days when my parents asked me what color shoes I wanted and we’d go out to a store and just buy them…

Oh how I loved my red Keds when I was 4!