Warning: This blog is about something even more obnoxious than singing chipmunks! 😆

It seems not all children out there are thrilled about not being in school. Or something…Last night, since it was so unseasonably warm, my husband and I met a friend around a campfire at a local bar/restaurant,which IMHO, has become TOO family friendly in recent years. Usually we try to stay away from this place between the hours of 5 and 8 pm (except for occasional trivia nights), but since none of us worked, and it was so nice, we broke our little rule for a night.

It was nice for a while, having our own quiet spot by a fire while inside it turned into a packed, noisy kiddie campus. I swear the number of high chairs outnumbered normal human chairs (JK, jK)!

Even the four “igloos” outside filled up. They look kind of like this only covered with clear vinyl and have a picnic table and heaters/lights inside. Also they don’t have angry Mad Max universe gnomes on top of them. Maybe this gnome might have been a help in our cause (read on).

As it happened, the “igloo” closest to us was occupied with a family of maybe five adults and three children. Shortly after arriving, one of the children, who we later determined was maybe a 7 year old boy, started screeching his fool head off for reasons only apparent to him. And he did this at full volume for about FORTY MINUTES STRAIGHT. Usually the tents muffle sounds, but we could hear every squall with clarity from about 20 feet away. Ya know how you’d imagine a prehistoric flying dinosaur might sound? Yeah that. I actually recorded it on my phone for a few seconds and you can hear the kid shrieking what sounded like “Mama!” Was she present? Ignoring him? Questions, questions!

Anyone remember that scene in the movie The Omen when the parents are attempting to take their antichrist child Damien to church?

His sounds were varied – shrieking, screaming and growling – the holy trinity of obnoxiousness.

Yet everyone one else in the igloo seemed to act like nothing was wrong, except the little girl, who covered her ears. And her mother physically tried to stop her from doing that.

Then I decided to do a little test – see if loud music could drown out the screeching banshee. So I opened the Spotify app on my phone and played “Killing in the Name” at full volume for just a few seconds (maybe 10 tops). It worked – but only if I held the phone right next to my ear. Ah how nice it was for a bit! Not wanting to be an asshole to others who could hear, I immediately turned it off. Then something odd happened – one of the adults – some blonde woman – took the screaming kid out for a walk. He didn’t scream while he was out for a walk (go figure). Then he came back into the tent and was back at it again (though quieter this time) until food arrived, then he was quiet while stuffing his face, then started screaming again. Finally the whole group left (buh-bye).

Seriously, what was up with that kid? Claustrophobia of being in an enclosed space? Lack of attention? Being told “no” about something and just acting out to be a brat? Mental disorder? Was he the Antichrist? Theories abound…

Just our luck that the people trying to stay as far from kids as possible in the place had to be closest to the one that could probably be heard 10 blocks away even with the tent closed. Maybe dive bars are our salvation?

We’ll be back there tonight for a trivia game. Hopefully the screaming kids sit far, far away from us!