Editor’s note: These are the questions from Michigan’s Sporcle Live state championship on Saturday, June 15. I will “play along” and attempt to answer these as though I were playing by myself…I have also done some minor edits when needed. Warning – some of the commentary may contain profanity and be on the acidic side! There will be liberal uses of the word “fuck” and bleeped out variants thereof. Do not read if you’re offended by this kind of thing. But if this stuff offends you, you might want to stop reading ANY of my blogs! Thank you…

Game One
1. In 1958 with the release of the 64 color box, Crayola Crayons released this color to replace Gold Ochre, which itself was retired along with 8 other colors in 1990, what is this color that also represents a major Midwestern university?

I was confused about this one at first, thinking that the color was part of the university’s name. Moving on!

2. Based on a straight line distance, what country’s capital is closest to Moscow, that was not previously located in the Soviet Union?

I’m guessing Oslo, Norway…but my teammates would check me on this one, and we’d put Helsinki, Finland (they are better with maps than I am). I always screw up which country is closer to Russia. It’s MY job to name the countries and capitals. THEIR job to know where the f— they are!

3. In what 1997 film is special forces agent Al Simmons resurrected as the title character, an image comics superhero who is a reluctant soldier for the devil?

I’m 99.9 percent sure this is Spawn.

4. Termites are one of the two insects in the Blattodea order, along with what other insect known for it’s hardiness?

My guess is cockroach. And I know this because of Bloom County (yes really).

5. What TV series that debuted in 1987, won 13 Primetime Emmy Awards during its four season run, was named for the relative ages for its main characters?

No idea…my first guess was Wonder Years, but when I found out the answer, I was like “duh.” So glad I wasn’t playing this day! Fuck Emmy Awards…

6. Each of the six U.S. Presidents who served consecutively beginning in 1817 had previously served as a U.S. Senator. Name either the last of those six presidents or the president that broke the streak?

Tyler is my guess for the last of these guys, Polk my guess for the one that broke the streak. Useless, useless f—ing Whigs. What were they good at – besides dying in office and being elected just because they were war heroes? Oh yeah, they were good at being nicknamed “His Accidency.” And if you were Franklin Pierce, you could drink an entire fraternity under the table (wait he was not a Whig but this is definitely still worth noting)…Yes, lots of presidents were elected just because of their wartime exploits (cough…Grant), but the Whigs had BOTH Zachary Taylor AND William Henry Harrison – who were both war “heroes” – and died in office. Kind of helps make my case about Whigs, doesn’t it?

7. Kendrick Lamar has reached #1 on the billboard hot 100 on two occasions. The first of which was in 2015 as a featured artist on a song by what singer?

This is one of many reasons Evan plays with us.

8. What South African style Submarine sandwich, typically made with a variety of meat ingredients including French fries was named for a 1974 Robert Redford movie which is based on a 1925 novel of the same name?

HUD? Brubaker? The Way We Were? The Sting?  No idea.

9. At 35 years of age, who was the oldest player on the 1992 U.S. men’s Olympic basketball team, known as the Dream Team?

Another reason we have Evan playing with us…

10. What children’s book series, first published in 1980’s has a variety of settings, including at the waterworks, at the ocean floor, inside the earth and in the time of dinosaurs?

No f—ing clue. Mike might have a guess on this one.

Mystery Round
Place the following albums in order based on certified units sold according to the RIAA beginning with the highest first.

Hotel California – Eagles
Come on Over – Shania Twain
21 – Adele
Back in Black – AD/DC

I would put Shania Twain first because she sold a fuck ton of records and most people have not even heard of her –  and I would roll a D3 (or D4 and improvise) to pick the others. Seriously, this is what I would do. However, if playing with a team, we’d make our best guess, since nobody on our team is an “expert” in this dull, dull category! I honestly just don’t have a head for this stuff.