I live in Michigan, and that means its residents tend to keep a stiff upper lip when weather is crappy. Or pointlessly complain about it. We can get punched with huge humid fists on some summer days. Rain can become so scarce in the summers that you start believing it’s a Native American myth (hello higher water bills). Rain was hardly a myth last spring in  Houghton, MI there was enough rain to cause major roadways to crumble when 5.5 inches of rain fell within a six hour period. Unlike some of the warmer southern states where everything essentially shuts down when a few inches of snow fall, here in Michigan, we just concern ourselves with making sure the car’s in the garage (if you have a garage) and making sure you have enough booze and snacks to weather the storm. Or fuel for your generator in case your power gets knocked out. That same fuel can be used in your snow blower, so best fill up the gas can! Schools may shut down, but you’ll be damned if your local convenience store will close down because of a snowstorm!

Results of Mateo the Snowstorm in February, 2018 – right near where I live.

We tend to be so abused by the weather in Michigan that when we get a dose of good weather…we lose our shit! Today, my husband and I visited Three Cedars Farm in Northville, MI. Here, you can take a hay ride to a corn maze, have some cider and doughnuts, and pick out pumpkins. There is a little “fake” train ride (no actual tracks), and a children’s play area, so if you want “kid friendly,” fuhgeddaboutit! Then, of course, there’s the gift shop! Halloween-themed items were the star attractions – spooky decorations, bulk candy, etc. We just went inside to use the ATM so we could pay for the things we were going to do. Nice thing is this place doesn’t charge for parking or admission. You only pay for what you’re going to eat, drink, or visit.

I overheard a worker in the parking lot say, “We expected crowds today, but we didn’t expect this.”

So after walking about a quarter mile or so from our parking spot, we just started looking around. This place was BUSY! There was barely room to move in the general store, or in the “Donut Hut,” which was the first thing we smelled while we walked toward the main area. We checked out the pumpkins that were available for sale, got our bearings a bit, and gave into temptation and got some cider and doughnuts. But the cider was in…slushie form! The brain-freezy delight really hit the spot on the warm, sunny day.

We sat in some old-timey rockers while enjoying our sweet treats. The breeze was nice! The only thing that could have made the drinks nicer was a little kiss of cinnamon-infused hooch 🙂

Then it was time to vainly attempt to burn off the calories from our treats! What did that mean? A corn maze, of course! We hopped into a trailer filled with bales of hay and took a short ride with the other farm visitors, most of whom had children in tow. One of the families asked me to take a photo of them with their phone, and I noticed one of the kids had…gone astray and was a few feet away, appearing to be overly stimulated from the scenery, the tractor, and being a Michigan person on a day when weather isn’t trying to kill you. Not wanting to make any assumptions (and because I’m blunt as f—), I said, “Does this boy belong to you or is he just a stray orphan?” They said he belonged to them, so I waited patiently until they corralled the boy into the group photo with the rest of them. Hey…who says I never do anything nice for others? They didn’t make me re-take the pictures, so they must have turned out OK.!

Finally we arrived at the corn maze! We paid our $5 per person fee and went inside…While we were strolling around, my husband Mike said, “This is really peaceful. And the kids aren’t trying to kill me.” It took me a second or two, but I figured out what he meant…

Malachai from Children of the Corn.

Nope, we didn’t run into any churchy, homicidal children in the corn fields (whew)! If we found all three “markers” in the maze we could use a hole punch and check them off on our tickets. Then, we could fill out a form on the back to be entered into a drawing for a “grand prize.” No information about the “grand prize” was given. We figured it was just a ploy to get our address/email address and didn’t bother turning them in. It was still fun trying to find them all (which we did). One guy we passed was doing his best impression of Usain Bolt and running through the corn maze. Uh, OK! When we walked by a young woman (his girlfriend), she said, “I don’t want to lose my boyfriend in a corn maze.” A short time later, we saw her again, looking like she was making a call on her cell phone (oh the drama of young love). I played a bit of hide-and-seek of my own, too…

I think I’ll disappear into the corn! “She who walks behind the rows” (LOL)!