The Ten Commandments from The  Bible clearly need some updating… So here I go with…

The Seven Commandments of Women

1. Thou Shalt Not Make Pants/Shorts/ or Skirts Without Pockets

Many women carry purses/handbags. But there are plenty of circumstances where women want to carry their essentials in pockets and not carry purses/handbags. Do not tease women by making garments with missing, “false” or sealed pockets in jeans, pants, jeggings, leggings or the like else you will face  the fires of Hell (lol). I have a cargo skirt with pockets big enough to carry my tablet (this is proof that it can be done, clothing maker people, take note). OK, leggings without pockets are acceptable (do not get me started on legging abuse that is another blog topic entirely).

2. Thou Shalt Not Judge Any Woman For the Shoes She Wears

Sometimes a woman wants to wear impractical “cute” shoes , whether they be stilettoes, pumps, flip-flops, tall boots, sandals, etc. But sometimes, a woman needs to wear what feels best on her feet after working a job where she’s been on her feet all day. Or maybe she needs to wear shoes that will be comfortable for being on her feet for an extended period of time. Appreciate the “cute” shoes when you get to see them (or visit a shoe fetish web site if you’re kinky and into that stuff), but please – be understanding about shoes women choose to wear.

Sometimes comfy Skechers are what a gal really wants to wear…and hideous knee socks. Do not judge her…err me! Me at the Michigan Brewer’s Guild Summer Beer Festival in July, 2017.

3. Thou Shalt Not Judge (Or One-Up) a Woman For Her Handbag/Wallet

If a woman has a handbag or wallet of lesser status than yours, do not judge her. And do not, under any circumstances, one-up or belittle a woman for her wallet or handbag. Take note, Kirsten!

Patrick Bateman (played by Christian Bale) loses his shit after learning a colleague has a better business card than his in American Psycho.

4. Thou Shalt Not Assume Every Woman Will Want To Vote For A Woman Political Candidate Just Because She Is A Woman

Election 2016. ‘Nuf said. I lost a few FB friends in 2016 because they incorrectly assumed I would automatically vote for Hillary Clinton just  because  she  was  a  woman. I have not lost any sleep over losing these shallow bitches as “friends.” For the record, I did not  vote  for Trump, either (I supported Sanders during the primaries and went  third  party  in November, 2016 for the first time in my life). And this is as political  as you  will  ever  see  me in this blog.

5. Thou Shalt Not Create Cute, Kitschy, Pandering Advertising Slogans Involving Products For Women’s Periods

Whomever came up with this slogan should be killed…

F— Procter and Gamble for coming up with the universally hated slogan “Have a Happy Period.”…And that’s all I have to say about that…

6. Thou Shalt Not Think There Are “Women’s” and “Men’s” Drinks

Women drink beer/whiskey/bourbon/Scotch/Jager and men drink  froufrou cocktails/cider. And vice versa. There are no “women’s” and “men’s drinks anymore. Women drink swill and men drink craft beer and vice versa. All people of all genders drink whatever they like that will get them drunk, lol.

7. Thou Shalt Not Think Women Are Not As “Horndog” as Men

Women can be as horny as f— and want to f— men or women they are not “supposed” to f—. just like men do. This does not mean they will act on their urges (although  some of them do). Men do not have the market cornered  here.