Disclaimer/editor’s note: This blog was published on Jan. 12, 2018, so all info provided therein was current as of that date. For REALLY up to date info, please look elsewhere!

This blog is my lame attempt to conquer a gnarly trivia area…Billboard hits. When I was a kid, I really followed the Billboard Hot 100 charts! Every week, I would listen to Casey Kasem’s Top 40 broadcast and write down all of the songs! To this day, I still regret not having kept those lists! They would be a great time capsule to see now, and also a great way to prove that there was a time when I had legible handwriting!

So let’s take a look at Billboard hits, that like singer/songwriter Sting (per the rumors), had some real “staying power.” Seriously, Sting was supposedly into some tantric sex stuff and would go for HOURS. But then maybe he just paid someone to perpetuate those rumors? Everyone has their price! Without further ado, those “long lasting” songs!

16 Weeks at Number One (oh the humanity…)

“One Sweet Day,” Mariah Carey/Boys 2 Men, 1995

This song spent 16 weeks at #1 on the charts in 1995. So for four months, if you were some poor sucker who only had radio as an option in your car, you were probably likely to have to hear this song…a lot.  Now to give it a listen…NO I AM NOT DOWNLOADING SPOTIFY! YouTube it is…What? I thought I turned on headphones (my husband probably just wanted to kill me, lol). Uh, no, this isn’t my kind of song. But I can see why it would be a big hit. As I said, no accounting for taste…Mariah Carey is just too yowling of a singer for me.

“Despacito,”  Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee feat. Justin Bieber, 2017

I’m not really sure what a “Despacito” is without resorting to the Google machine, but here’s a scene from the Banderas movie Desperado.

“Despacito” also spent four months/16 weeks in the top spot. I am listening to this as I type this, and this means I haven’t shut it off…yet! The Spanish guitar is not objectionable… and I don’t mind the Spanish lyrics (I generally love foreign languages). I can see how this song would get a bit annoying. But still better than that Mariah Carey song! You KNOW I’m really putting forth an effort when I listen to Mariah Carey on purpose 🙂 Now YouTube is playing Fonsi/Yankee’s all Spanish version. I think I like it better.

“Despacito” boasted 80,000 downloads sold and also led the streaming songs charts.

Now which song is next? Looks like it’s a group of songs! This should be fun (cracks knuckles)!

14 Weeks at Number 1

“Uptown Funk!,” Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars, 2015

I don’t mind some Bruno Mars songs. I even have one on my car’s thumb drive – “Locked Out of Heaven.” It’s kind of reminiscent of some older Police songs, imho. But let’s talk about “Uptown Funk,” shall we?

Their future’s so bright they gotta wear….pastels. And gold chains. And hats…

“Uptown Funk”…hmm what to say? Best to listen to without watching the video! I think that video is making me dizzy…so many pastels! And hats! Kinda derivative of George Clinton, there’s some horns thrown in. It’s kinda catchy. And I like George Clinton.

George Clinton, who was one of Thomas Jefferson’s vice presidents. Note, this is NOT the same guy who was the frontman for Parliament Funkadelic!

“I Gotta Feeling,” The Black Eyed Peas, 2009

No. Just no. I am NOT listening to this boppy annoying song performed by people who took WAY too many antidepressants, imho. Hard to believe someone who was such a cool cat in X Men Origins: Wolverine also had something to do with THIS song.

Wolverine and Wraith in X Men Origins: Wolverine. Will.i.am, Black Eyed Peas singer/songwriter, is on the right. He does not sing in the movie at all.

“We Belong Together,” Mariah Carey, 2005

No. Just no. I’m NOT listening to another Mariah Carey song!

“Candle in the Wind 1997″/”Something About the Way You Look Tonight,” Elton John,  1997

When Diana “spoke” using fashion – people listened! Here she is in “wellie” boots, which were a pretty huge fad for a while!

I don’t think this is a bad song, I’ve played the original version, which was about Marilyn Monroe, on the piano in the past. Amazing how quickly they cranked this one out after Princess Diana died, though! Which made more money? This song – or the Diana “Beanie Baby” plush toys? Will have to look into that! I have not listened to the “Diana” version of the song. I think I get a pass since I have heard the original version so many times!

“Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix),” Los Del Rio,  1996

This one was quite the earworm for a while from these one-hit wonders…and such fodder for parody! This song, imho, did not withstand the test of time – but will certainly be talked about on “I Love the ’90s” episodes on VH-1!

“I’ll Make Love to You,” Boyz II Men, 1994

I have a feeling this is probably “makeout music,” which means I will have to give it a listen, so give me a second, will ya? Yup, total baby-making music – at least for people who are into R&B. Which I am not, so I will be turning this off now. Which brings me to the last 14-week #1 song (the one we put on our slips in our trivia game last night…so close! So close!).

“I Will Always Love You,” Whitney Houston, 1992

The Bodyguard was definitely selling, but I just wasn’t buying…

No, I’m not listening to this on purpose. A Dolly Parton original, this one was featured on the soundtrack for the Whitney Houston vehicle…I mean movie – The Bodyguard. Always trying to be open-minded, I actually tried watching this movie after Whitney Houston died. Nope, I still hate it. But not quite as much as I hate this song. Just because you CAN hit a certain vocal range, it doesn’t mean you SHOULD. It is sad what happened to Whitney Houston – I think if she had not gotten mixed up with the drugs…and Bobby Brown…she would probably still be selling tickets at concerts today. Even if she gained lots of weight! And that’s all I gotta say about that!

Some More Billboard Milestones ‘n Stuff…

Most Weeks in Billboard Hot 100’s Top 10

“Shape of You,” 33 weeks, Ed Sheeran, No. 1 (12 weeks), Jan. 28, 2017

“Closer,” 32 weeks, The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey, No. 1 (12 weeks), Sept. 3, 2016

“How Do I Live,” 32 weeks, LeAnn Rimes, No. 2, Dec. 13, 1997

“Uptown Funk!,”  31 weeks, Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars, No. 1 (14 weeks), Jan. 17, 2015

“Smooth,” 30 weeks, Santana feat. Rob Thomas, No. 1 (12 weeks), Oct. 23, 1999