I had a curmudgeonly male co-worker years ago when I worked at a newspaper who said something that has always stuck in my brain: “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone’s got one, and everyone thinks everyone else’s stinks.” On that note, here are some of my unpopular, non-political opinions! Warning, some might be borderline silly or be a sign I need professional help!
1. I LOVE station wagons. Wood-paneled, luggage racks on top, boxy, Buick Roadmaster, clunky, bulky, practical…so, so lovely to me. The more they look like the Griswold’s “Family Truckster,” the better! If I had the dough – and the space to store them – I would collect them.

Drool! My theory about why I like these cars is because the first car I wrecked was a 1987 Buick Century station wagon. I think I am always trying to regain the first car I wrecked…I also like that you can fold down the seats and sleep in one of these! Which I have done!

2. I love the way Mr. Mister sounds on a good car stereo, specifically Kyrie and Broken Wings. But I only like it if it randomly comes on the radio, I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it. Though I have gone out of my way to watch the video for their song Is It Love,  which includes a clothed sexual assault scene in a kitchen. It’s creepy AF!

A scene from the “Is It Love” video

3. The Fast and Furious film franchise should merge with the Transformers franchise. Imagine the moneymaking potential, Hollywood.
4. I like the bright green in the Seattle Seahawks football uniforms. But wish the other color was purple, not dark blue.
5. I like groundhogs, even though they are destructive, bitey, and not very bright. I get excited whenever I see one. Capybaras, the world’s largest rodents, are also cool as shit.

Groundhog spotted at Greenfield Village in 2009. This one was tamer than most, and didn’t immediately run away when he/she spotted us.

6. The ESB (Extra Special Bitter) beer style is one of my favorites. It’s right in the middle of the road in terms of IBUs (International Bitterness Units), or “hoppiness.” But not too many craft breweries make them, they seem to think hopping the shit out of their beer – and getting into a one-upping contest with other breweries in the process – is the way to go. When will we see a septuple imperial IPA? Soon, I fear! And “hopheads” will go apeshit for it!

Bottoms up!

7. Indiana Jones should be like James Bond and continue on in different movies even if played by different actors. Let’s give Harrison Ford a rest already. Indiana Jones is a great character and he could be used in countless movies.

River Phoenix playing a young version of Indiana Jones Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

8. Karen Carpenter had such a great singing voice because she made a deal with Satan. And since she reneged on that deal somehow, he gave her anorexia nervosa, which would wind up killing her. We’ve Only Just Begun would be the song I would play loudly if I went into a homicidal rage.

Few people know that Karen Carpenter was also a drummer…what better place to diffuse the brightness of those white, white teeth than the back?

9. Winnie The Pooh is a commentary on drug abuse. Eeyore abuses depressants, Tigger is coked up, Rabbit is on meth, Pooh is continually stoned, since he always has the munchies. And Christopher Robin is on acid because he sees talking animals.

Hatred of Mondays is a pretty popular opinion! I happen to like this particular Monday because I am not working!

10. Channing Tatum’s name is backwards. It should be Tatum Channing, because he is the love child of Carol Channing and Tatum O’Neal. Another unpopular opinion, especially among women?  I don’t think he’s cute (though he does have a nice body). Seriously, his name is such a mind f— for me I can’t even watch a movie with him in it. I was at my brother’s house when a movie with him in it was on TV and he had to change the channel because I wouldn’t shut up about it! And no, I am NOT using a picture of him with this post BECAUSE I DON’T THINK HE’S CUTE…AT ALL! 🙂